Musing

I don't know if the universe is trying to tell me something, or trying to prepare me in some way, but in the last week I have run into many people from my past. It's not as if I was trying to escape the past, I chose to leave those people behind for various reasons. Some of those people were from school, some were fair-weather friends, some work colleagues...it doesn't matter. I didn't want them to be in my life anymore. I don't think life is trying to make me confront them or something about them or maybe reconcile myself with them, but I think it's trying to tell me something. That much I am sure of! 


Interestingly enough, in all but one encounter there was no approaching nor recognition They all stayed away. It seems as though I have a reputation for cutting people out of my life and them staying cut off. I can't say whether that is true or not, all I know is that I don't have any contact with those people anymore for a reason. It's not as if I sat them down and told them off, I just let myself disappear from their lives. Each situation is different, of course. I feel however, that I have to hold on to my principles so I don't end up getting hurt or compromising who I am.

On friendship

In high school, my mother always used to tell me that if you could count the amount of good friends you had in your life on one hand, then you were doing just fine. I tried to always take this to heart, especially when I was feeling wronged or hurt by people I perceived to be my friends.

Over time I have learned that people are very insincere, especially here on the West Coast where I have chosen to live. I miss the genuineness of the South. I don’t understand people here; I don’t understand people that don’t follow through.

I haven’t spoken to my ‘best friend’ in over two months. I am okay.  I have Anna, Sam, Azadeh and my wonderful Max. So I’m going to keep smiling, keep it moving…because I don’t need you.

Did you count that mami? Four fingers, four friends.