Racism-induced Exhaustion

I wasn't sure how long the men had been on the train, to be honest. I don't usually pay attention when I am on my way home from work. At some point I had started a short conversation with the two Brazilians nearby mostly because I never get to speak Portuguese in Portland.

Later on I was talking on my phone to a friend, in Spanish, relating to her my day and the neatness of running into Portuguese-speakers on the commute home. As the train pulled into the last stop, my stop, I put my phone away and as I approached the exit heard the loud end of a conversation about how "we should just close the borders and then tell them all to shut up."

My knee-jerk reaction was rage, of course. Those men weren't looking directly at me when they said it...but you know that feeling you get when everyone is talking about you but they're not actually acknowledging your presence nearby? They probably didn't think I even understood English...and I'm not even Mexican. At all. The shocking part was their appearance...they all seemed rather innocuous...for older White men. People are ugly when they think you're not paying attention or that you don't understand what they're saying.

So when my friends or acquaintances (mostly the White ones) whine at me about how they don't understand why these horrible racist things happen to me or around me and that  I "must be hanging out in the wrong areas" or with the "wrong people," I smile now, thinly. I don't have anything to say anymore. I'm too damn tired of experiencing it,  pointing it out, and "discussing" it.

 I just want to know who the hell you're all hanging out with.


Portlandia Yoga Episode

I thought it would be chuckle-worthy to share a little Portlandia moment with all y'all.

As a member of 24 hour fitness, I am apparently able to avail myself of free classes ranging from step aerobics to yoga. So, last Wednesday after a shitty day at work I met my boyfriend downtown and it happened to be yoga class day. I attended the class for only 30 minutes in an attempt to stretch and soothe my back which I have overstrained at work. I left, speaking with a nice elderly woman who left the class at the same time I did.

I proceded to go swimming for a bit, soak in the hot tub and then shower. On my way out I wait in the lobby area texting my boyfriend to let him know I was going home. I see the yoga teacher doing some kind of work-hours related stuff on the computers by the main entrance. One of the class members walks by and thanks her for a great class. I then say "Oh you're the yoga teacher?" "Sorry I couldn't stay for the whole class. It was nice for my back though." She then acidly states that "If you're going to come we ask that you stay for the whole session, are no more than ten minutes late and if you absolutely must leave early you must pose by the door and preform (some Ayurvedic word) before you leave."

I was so shocked at her verbal attack that I actually laughed incredulously during it and at the end of her diatribe in the same breath she smiles and says "I hope you have a wonderful night, okay?" My surprise turned to appall and I snarkily told her in French to go fuck herself as she turned around and walked out. The best part was another employee witnesses the entire thing and doesn't say a word.

It is a free yoga class. Yoga bitches like you are a dime a dozen, sweetie. Especially in Portland. Learn some aplomb! It almost ruined my nice evening at the gym except for my quick retort. Go me!