Musing

I don't know if the universe is trying to tell me something, or trying to prepare me in some way, but in the last week I have run into many people from my past. It's not as if I was trying to escape the past, I chose to leave those people behind for various reasons. Some of those people were from school, some were fair-weather friends, some work colleagues...it doesn't matter. I didn't want them to be in my life anymore. I don't think life is trying to make me confront them or something about them or maybe reconcile myself with them, but I think it's trying to tell me something. That much I am sure of! 


Interestingly enough, in all but one encounter there was no approaching nor recognition They all stayed away. It seems as though I have a reputation for cutting people out of my life and them staying cut off. I can't say whether that is true or not, all I know is that I don't have any contact with those people anymore for a reason. It's not as if I sat them down and told them off, I just let myself disappear from their lives. Each situation is different, of course. I feel however, that I have to hold on to my principles so I don't end up getting hurt or compromising who I am.

Sorry man, my karma ran over your dogma

Do you ever want to clobber that motherfucker in your past life that left you with shitty karma? Why should the Universe punish us for something we didn't do? Past lives are past, done, the end. Laissez-moi tranquille! I mean, technically I didn't do it. I'm not going to say what it is that I think I'm karmically suffering from because it's just too typical. Especially since I'm blogging from Portland. So I guess it will just be my secret for now.


But thanks dude! Not.

Odio es amor truncado

Today, it seems, is a day for the past to rear it’s ugly head. You saw two such reminders, all within thirty minutes. Rather than dwell on the negativity they could bring up why not reflect on how you have changed and become a better person from those people and the experiences they created.

What is love without hate?

Is it anything at all?

Does love lose its importance without its opposite?

First there was the Indian girl. You ran into her on the streetcar ride to campus, she was leaving work. Apparently she had returned from Arizona. Despite all the time between she remembered where you used to live with the puta. It was, of course, right across the street. Silly you asked if she was still friends with the puta, to which you were surprised to hear yes and even that the Indian girl had spent Thanksgiving with her. Terrible feelings surfaced and you felt that familiar pesadez tapping on your soul. Fuck those bitches. Despite the years, the thought of her makes your blood run cold.

The second run-in was short, but still bitter on your part. It was that stupid boy, who said stupid things and still gives you stupid looks. It’s just stupid.  Don’t say what you don’t mean, after all. He’s still cute, even cuter maybe. Passing by him in the rain, him with his darting eyes and passive-aggressive silence reminded you of his boyfriend, the other man, yet another bitch. 


As it has been said: 
within the fool’s eyes lies love,
Love lies and al final, love truncated is just hate.