Untitled (a poem)

you fucking left me, you left me on the train

i saw your eyes glazing over while that man wrapped his thick fingers around my neck and tried to take my humanity from me.

i watched you look away, i watched you pretend like it wasn’t happening

what the fuck is wrong with you?

i will not be another Kitty Genovese because

there have been far too many of us already

people talk about phoenixes,

but what they don’t really remember is like Mama Butler said, we gotta burn before we can rise and well I have fucking burned so many times I have fire in my blood instead of haemoglobin.

those horrible clawing fingers and those vile words are not perceptions

that is why every slur, ever dirty look is like a dagger in my soul

they are facts in my life, that shit happens

how do you tell someone that you’re sorry?

i gotta rise above,

we, all us Kittys, we are all phoenixes

there is no other choice, no other road

i take my rage and hide my face

i spit truth because i cannot lie

i cannot die

because you left me on the train.

and my life is worth so much more than that

(c) 2013 T.G.

A Manifesto of Validation of My Self

Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. I’m too White-looking or middle-class for brown folk, but I’m too queer/brown/Political/supersites for Whiteys. I guess that’s the fallacy of thinking you’re special in America.

Scratch that. I don’t know why I am so into navel gazing lately…it’s like I think I am saying something profound. To be completely honest, it ain’t really profound to anyone except to me. I used to dream about making this stupid blog into something amazing, changing peoples minds and shit…pero en el fondo I don’t really know if I am even touching anyone.

So here’s my manifesto, for me, inspired by Zac Slams.

A Manifesto of Validation of My Self

1.     My ethno-racial/sexual/gender identity is on my terms, not yours. I choose to identify myself a certain way so as not to be blotted out by heterosexism, racism, classism, regionalism and other interlocking systems of oppression.

I do not need to explain myself to you. Ever. I will embrace my Otherness and use it as a tool for my protection, validation and revolution.

2.     Si yo elija hablar en español y tu no entiendes, eso no vale nada. El español es el lenguaje de mi corazón, de mi alma. No me importa un carajo si tu no entiendas lo que digo, ademas probablamente no quieres escucharlo. That is no excuse, however, for racism.

3.     I have the right to say/express what I think/see/feel. My opinions, whether they are right or not, are just as valid and important as yours. I have the right to be heard, despite our society’s attempt at quelling those of us that speak out.

4.     I choose to live. I have a right to life. I will not let myself be co-opted/colonized/erased/assaulted/raped/molested/attacked ever again and I will defend my body and my self with force if necessary.